No matter how hard you try, they are never going to change, because in their eyes, nothing is ever their fault.
2. Self-righteous people
They think they are perfect, and have nothing at all to change or improve about themselves.
3. Deceptive people
Deceptive people cannot be trusted, because they act one way in public, and another in private. Next time your gut tells you someone asking for help can't be trusted, it's important to be sure of their intentions before you lend them a hand.
4. Desperate people
A desperate person moves you to pity them and begs you to help, but beware, don't fall for it. These kinds of people are willing to do anything and everything just to get what they want. Even if it means stabbing you in the back. They don't respect your boundaries, rather they abuse your generosity, time, and energy. Instead of wasting your time trying to help someone like this, staying as far away as you can is probably the way to go.
5. Disloyal people
Some people are just too disloyal for you to help. Though you may think that they are your friends, the truth is, you don't want someone disloyal in your life. They'll take other people's sides over yours, or talk about you behind your back. They are more likely to lose interest in you and move on to something else, rather than own up to their faults, and learn from them.
6. Doubtful people
You might as well try to move a wall. If you get too close to people like this, they could end up getting in your head, and filling you with doubt as well.
7. Quitters
It just isn't right giving your all, for someone who isn't even willing to put themselves out there. If they themselves aren't willing to change their ways, and be better, then holding on to them will only leave you hurt, frustrated, and emotionally drained. And life is too precious to waste in the wrong company.
You might need to re-examine your relationship with money, and your relationship to your self-worth.
If you want to start living a softer life, then you need to remember that prioritising your ease and your comfort, and spending a little bit of money on that is not always a bad thing.
2. You don't need to do everything yourself.
Doing everything yourself doesn't make you a better person.
It's a very valuable skill to be able to ask for help when it's needed.
If you feel overwhelmed, ask for help, hire help, try to take something off your plate.
You don't get a medal for doing the most.
3. Efficiency and impact, is more important than hours worked.
Drop the struggle.
4. Start seeing the beauty in the journey.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
5. You don't have to know everything.
I don't have to have an opinion about everything going on in the world.
I don't need to have a thought about everything.
It can get really overwhelming.
If you want to cultivate more of the soft life, let your brain chill.
6. You are in control of your life.
If you're at a social function, and you don't want to be there any more, you can leave.
Living a soft life means taking control of your life, and prioritising what's important to you, and what brings you peace, and you are the only person who can do that.
7. Cycle Syncing
Syncing your life to your cycle.
I don't force myself to be the same everyday.
I don't force myself to show up the same everyday, because that is entirely unrealistic, and all it's gonna do is burn you out.
We need balance to have that peace and ease in our life.
8. Don't let the good things make you feel uncomfortable.
We self-sabotage our own happiness and our own inner peace.
Being comfortable and familiar with things being easy, and almost start expecting things to be easy.
Compatibility is when two things are able to exist or occur in a state of harmony and without conflict. But the most important element of compatibility is workability or lack thereof. The most important part of accessing compatibility is to figure out what is and what isn’t workable. When something is workable, it is flexible, it’s negotiable, it’s pliable, it’s adaptable, it can be influenced, folded, or changed, so that it produces the desired effects or the desired results. Some things about us and our life are unworkable like solid steel, and they need to be that way for the sake of our well-being and other things are workable like modelling clay and they need to be for the sake of our well-being.
Because all people are different, one person might exhibit workability relative to something whereas another person can’t be workable relative to that same thing.
Workability and lack thereof doesn’t only apply to romantic partnerships, it applies to other relationships as well such as friendships, and work relationships, and family relationships, etc.
Knowing what is and what is not workable about you is the most important part of accessing compatibility, because these areas of unworkability are what causes extreme disharmony in a relationship, and they are what breaks a relationship apart.
Baked into every value is a positive and a negative potential. And this means that a person's deepest value can become their greatest weakness, in fact it can become their very downfall.
Every person's got a con with their name written on it.
That perfect con will always involve your top values.
Each value might have several potential upsides, and several potential downsides.
All of these things things in your life come with shadows potentially.
Get in touch with what you want, and with what you need.
In increments throughout the day, it is a good idea to pause and ask yourself, “What do I need right now, or what do I want right now?”, and let yourself go get that thing.
Not meeting your needs is a great way to become greedy.
10:58 When you are in the space of thinking you don’t need anyone or anything, you are too afraid to be vulnerable. and so you don’t ask for what you need. And so, the subconscious runs the show.
What if we actually need to need each other.
Letting yourself have what you need is food for the soul.
Ask yourself, “How is this thing I disapprove of good”?
Why is it that we need so badly to be good?
People who experience shame have a very strong conscience. People who have a high level of conscience adhere to strong morals. You are a person who is not going to deliberately harm other people.
Maybe there is a deeper reason. Maybe you didn’t come here to fit into those standards in the first place. Maybe if you had been able to fit in to those standards, our society would have no hope of evolving at all.
Often times it's these productivity hacks that enable us to live that softer life in the first place.
I feel much happier of a woman, and much more connected to my feminine energy, when I try to prioritise softer living.
That doesn't mean that there aren't moments or phases in my life where that hustle and grind is needed.
And that is ok. There is nothing wrong with that. We all go through different ebbs and flows in life.
However, there are little ways that we can add more softness and ease to our life regardless.
1. A good mood changes everything.
Realising that a good mood changes everything.
Creating peace and ease in those little moments.
Being grateful for the day.
When you wake up every single morning, encourage yourself to feel joy, and do everything you can to feel those happy feelings.
Whatever we focus on is what we think about, and whatever we think about is how we feel.
You have to make feeling joy a part of your job.
When you start doing this, no matter what phase you're at in your life, you will start to create a softer life for yourself.
Not every day will be rainbows and sunshine, and that is ok, but when you actively try to put yourself in a good mood every day, when we actively choose our thoughts, and choose good thoughts, instead of letting our fears and anxieties take over, that's when everything starts to shift, that's when everything in our life becomes easier.
It you truly want a softer life, it starts in your internal world.
It starts with cultivating inner happiness right now.
2. Prioritising and cultivating good health.
Good health affects everything.
When you are healthy, your creativity flows so much more naturally.
It just comes when you are on a walk, or having breakfast, and that makes things so much easier.
If you don't have your health, it feels like you have nothing.
It trickles over into every single aspect of your life.
Prioritise your health. Find real joy and love and meaning in taking care of yourself.
3. Identify what are the priorities, that actually move the needle.
We really have to be honest with ourselves, and identify what are the priorities.
Pareto principle. The 80/20 rule.
Most of the outcomes in our life, come from a small portion of what we actually do.
Focus on the things in your life that give you real benefit.
Don't spread yourself too thin.
What are the major things that get the outcome you want?
Trim the rest.
Don't overwhelm yourself with little tasks that don't really matter and don't really do much for you.
4. Do things once when it's applicable.
Do things once while you are already at it, so you can do less later.
5. Create systems for yourself, so things don't ever get too out of control.
Don't let things get out of hand.
It's these little tiny systems that enable that to happen.
When things get out of hand or too disorganised or too overwhelming, that's when things start to feel stressful and heavy.
6. You can replace the word discipline with devotion.
Devotion to taking care of yourself.
Devotion is a much softer way of looking at it.
It took devotion to take action on something that I wasn't yet getting results from.
Creating that soft life sometimes means having discipline.
We all like being well-liked. But if your desire of being liked costs you your needs and well-being, maybe it's time to ask yourself why.
You are just as important as any other person, and should dedicate the same amount of care and effort towards yourself.
1. Validate Yourself.
Basing your self-worth off of someone else's opinions can harm your self-esteem.
When your worth is determined by others, you can lose control of who you are.
Take some time to reflect on yourself with interest, curiosity, and respect.
When you learn how to separate what others say about you from what you think, you can have more confidence and draw validation from yourself.
2. Say No.
Maybe you avoid it because you don't want them to feel bad.
But saying no doesn't always mean you'll face a bad outcome.
Sometimes a little bit of authenticity goes a long way.
3. Take Time For Yourself.
It's ok to tell them, 'Let me get back to you'.
Many events are not urgent.
Remind yourself that it's ok to take some time to decide.
This phrase allows you to check in with yourself, or check with your schedule to make the best choice.
4. Know Where You're Going.
Take some time out of your week to evaluate or re-evaluate your short-term and long-term goals.
Questions you could ask yourself could include:
Where do I want to be in five years?
What am I doing right now to get there?
Doing so will help you narrow down the scope of things you agree to do, and help you say no to things that might not help you move closer to your goals.
5. Remove Toxic People From Your Life.
A toxic person is someone who does not respect your values and boundaries.
They overlook or overstep their lines, whether it's by asking you for things you are uncomfortable with, or that goes against your values, or simply by expecting that you'll make an exception for them.
Stay away from someone like this.
6. Stop Apologising.
Take some time and pause before apologising.
Before you say sorry, stop and ask yourself, 'Have I actually done something wrong here?'
Taking this time to think critically can make sure that you're not undermining yourself too much.
It's a gift to want to be of service, and not an inconvenience to others. But remember you are not beholden to other people's demands.
There is such a thing as physical reality and non-physical reality.
In order to get beyond subjective reality, you have to transcend beyond "I".
You have to be able to accommodate all subjective perspectives. Not just "yours".
Both objective reality and subjective reality are actually really valid and important levels of reality.
We are trying to integrate subjective and objective reality.
Objective reality must accommodate for contradictory truths.
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A truth that exists at one dimension of this Universe doesn't exist at another.
The main goal of awakening is to become more and more aware. The capacity to present and hold contradictory information. Free will is only possible with genuine awareness.
Our perspective must become more and more accommodating. That includes accommodating of the truth that all of us must accept that we don’t know what we don’t know.
Your only access of power is by accepting reality.
Intentional and conscious creation of reality has a place in your life and in your spiritual practice. However it should never replace your commitment to seeing objective reality, and subjective reality.
You can continue to alter and continue to expand your subjective reality.
Awareness and creating your own reality, these are the concepts that need to be integrated.
Face reality. It’s not a contradiction to creating your reality.
How To Be a SOFTER WOMAN *without losing who you are*
1. You first have to start within.
You have to start being soft to yourself, and have a soft inner dialogue.
When you change the internal, the external naturally comes along with it.
How are you speaking to yourself?
Create that inner softness within.
2. Let down your defences.
Do you get defensive easily?
To be a softer woman, you need to be able to let down these defences sometimes.
Get into the mindset that you don't need to prove anything to anyone, and that you are loved because of who you are.
3. Embrace vulnerability.
You should be able to open up, and show that emotion.
Not being afraid to show these emotions is one way that we soften.
A soft woman embraces these waves of emotions, and lets herself feel grief, or anger, or overwhelm, or happiness, or joy, or excitement, or whatever it is, and isn't afraid to let it out.
We don't need to hide our emotions.
Letting that vulnerability come through sometimes is one way that we soften.
4. Slow down.
Not everything is a race, and not everything is about achievements and hustle.
You don't have to rush.
This allows your nervous system to relax a bit, and feel more calm, and centred.
Be present in the task that you are doing.
Slowing down and being present will automatically make you feel like a softer woman.
5. Soften your body.
Your body and your mind are interconnected.
What happens in the mind, happens in the body, and vice-versa.
Let your body relax.
6. Conflict doesn't need to be tense.
Conflict can actually be a very healthy thing sometimes.
Challenge yourself to soften.
It is doable.
It's usually just someone feeling hurt.
7. Have empathy for others.
We do have to have boundaries, but it's good and healthy to have empathy for others.
You can see that any sort of unnecessary lashing out at you, it oftentimes boils down to a feeling of hurt or pain, and it's a reflection of something going on within themselves.
8. You have to be able to trust.
Trust that life is working out for you.
Trust that God or Universe is on your side, and is protecting you.
A lot of this hardness comes from a feeling of unsafety.
To live your happiest best life, you have to learn when to let go.
You have to learn when to surrender.
You have to learn to trust.
Sometimes not trying to control everything is one of the most powerful things that you can do, and this trust, this surrender is what's really gonna bring this softness out of you.
Living Authentically - not comparing yourself to others
1. Figure out what your idea of success is. We are all completely different.
2. Spending less time online. It has made a ridiculously big difference.
3. Find a like-minded community. Be really intentional with the time you spend online.
4. Practice gratitude. Our lives look really rich. The basic is being able to breathe. There are so many things that a lot of us can be so grateful for.
Feminine energy traits are affiliated with nurturing, love, receptivity, compassion, and care.
Being energy, rather than doing energy.
You're not doing anything actively, it's just that you being is already doing something.
Peace. She is at peace, and so she brings peace to others.
Start minding your own business. Memorise this line, “That is not my task”.
Whenever you feel the need to fix a man... That is not my task.
Can you not pick up other people’s tasks?
If there's gender roles that you don't want to fulfil, then find a man who shares similar values as you.
The bare minimum task that a man needs to be able to do is to provide.
And if he can't do that, it'll be very hard for you to be in your femininity in a relationship.
Get out of this energy of trying to prove yourself, because you are enough as is. And the moment you realise that, you feel so at home in yourself. So at home in your body. So at home in your femininity. Being in your feminine, is less about doing and more about being. Because as a woman, by existing you have so much inherent worth and value. You existing is enough.
Personally, it was the most difficult part for me to accept that I am enough as is. I don’t need to do more.
I’m already enough.
Being in your femininity is less about doing, more about being.
Women are useful without doing anything.
Just by existing around men, we confer a lot of status on them.
And using that status that we have conferred on them, they can now access more opportunities. You are giving him clout simply by going on a date with him. And then you’re going to pay, can we not do that? You are already paying just by existing with a man. That’s your payment. You gave him the opportunity to access you. That’s your payment. You have so much inherent worth and value. All you have to do is exist.
And it's always the men who want to exploit you, and take advantage of you that want you to devalue yourself. They are the ones who tell you that you're not this enough, you're not that enough. You are of no worth, you are of no consequence.
But what about the value that we bring? What about the risks that you incur simply by going on a date with this guy? The safety risk?
I too can pay on a first date, but I don’t have to.
Stop proving yourself to people. Just exist. And let the people who find value in you be the ones to access you. Why are you surrounding yourself with people who you have to prove yourself to? Once you get out of this proving yourself energy, you will feel more at peace.
Femininity is not a costume. Being a feminine woman is less about how you dress, and more about how you are with yourself.
If you cannot allow yourself to fully receive, you will likely have a hard time receiving love, feeling loved, and that's something that every human being deserves to feel.
If you can comfortably receive, your relationships will improve, your stress levels will improve, and life can get a whole lot easier, and a whole lot more fun.
1. Start practicing on the little things.
You can speak up when you need help.
2. Be in a constant state of gratitude.
There is always an infinite amount of abundance and love in this world.
Believe it. You will naturally be open and receptive to the good things that come into your life.
Shifting your mindset to a state of gratitude will naturally make you a more open and receptive person.
3. Remember that not everything needs to be or is meant to be transactional.
Sometimes you can just receive.
4. It's helpful to see the good in people, and not assume that everyone always wants something in return.
Sometimes people will have motives for things. You always have your boundaries.
Let go of control.
This energy closes you off from accepting things into your life.
This energy closes you off from accepting help, which everyone needs sometimes.
It closes you off from letting the Universe work it's magic and bring miracles into your life.
Doing it all burns you out.
This will allow you to start receiving in ways that bring more joy and ease into your life.
It can also help you to receive what's meant to come into your life for your Highest good.
I knew I was making bad decisions for my business, but I was making the right ones for me.
I think it is really easy to get those things confused.
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I will take comfort in knowing that I am doing the best I can at this time, and making the best decisions I can at this time.
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I hope you are open to your own growth.
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I don't know what the future holds, but I do know I am going to meet it with gentleness towards myself, and I'm going to have Faith that I will be able to figure things out as I go.
When you are a type that values Ne highly in your cognitive stacking: What your brain naturally wants to do is learn as much as it can possibly learn through having different experiences, through exploring different philosophies, through understanding the world using many different lenses, and this is the absolute food that you need to be giving your soul in order to thrive.
If there is a single piece of advice I would give to an ENFP, it’s that, you have to put your energy at the centre of your life. Prioritise feeding your body, mind and soul. For you wellness means having new adventures, having new experiences, etc. allowing yourself to make seemingly impractical choices in so far as you are able to do so. Your energy is oriented towards that exploration of life. That is what makes you feel alive.
If you prioritise your energy above all else, in the long run, that will pay off for you infinitely more than if you are to follow a traditional path that drains you.
9:50 Extroverted Intuition is able to absorb an almost terrifying amount of information and make sense of it, and connect it to tangible external reality in a way that other people understand. And that is a superpower that probably nobody has taught you how to nurture.
Feed yourself, new ideas, new experiences, and new thoughts, on a more or less constant basis.
Make staying engaged, energised, and interested in your life as the number one priority.
10:44 Your superpower is your ability to take in a wide array of very complex information and make sense of it simply. Not many people are able to grasp complex theories as quickly and as easily as you are.
You need time to integrate everything that you have been learning.
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As an ENFP, when you are firing on all cylinders, you are producing insights, and thoughts, and perspectives that are far above what the average person can produce.
When you are leaning fully and completely into your explorative and introspective nature, you are able to produce thought work at an extremely high level.
But in order to do that you have to be willing to feed your mind, and soul first.
Prioritise your energy as the person you actually are.
If you cannot prioritise you for yourself, consider prioritising yourself for the good of the planet.
Manifestation is not just about what you’re doing, it’s about who you are being. Who you are showing up as everyday.
How do you be in the energy to attract what you want, in energetic alignment?
1. You want to be around other people or situations where having that thing is natural. It’s just their state of being. Get yourself somehow where you can be in that energy. Your state of being is highly correlated with what feels natural to you. Being near people or with people where that energy is natural. You will pick up on that energy.
2. Do the inner work. Remember that your world is a mirror.
Your thoughts and beliefs are the biggest thing holding you back, or the biggest thing propelling you forward. Shifting this can take some time. Some tools for changing your state of being include things like: Visualisation, journaling, scripting, affirmations, gratitude. Do it everyday. Just keep going. It’s a journey. Feminine energy is the being energy. Master the being energy, and you will start attracting things into your life, and the action that you do take will be amplified by a hundred.
3. Get in touch with your feelings.
Bring those feelings, those emotions up.
The way feel around your manifestations matters.
You have to use that feeling side to your advantage.
Connecting to your Feeling side. The Heart energy. I visualize how those manifestations would make me feel. I like to feel that feeling deep in my bones. Like what would my energy be like? Feel what it’s like to have it. How would it fell in ur body, mind, heart, and soul. Your feelings massively shift your energy. They are powerful. Manifesting using your feminine energy is all about attracting in what you want by being an energetic match, by being in the right energy.
4. Detachment.
Embrace detachment.
Feminine energy is the surrender energy. It's the energy of releasing control and letting go.
We have to do this with our manifestations too.
We have to give things space to come to us and to come into our lives, and release that resistance.
These is an element of trust and release that you have to embody.
Let go of the fear and worry around it. Feminine energy is the playful energy.
Try to be as light-hearted, n playful, n trusting as you can. Surrender. Release. Let go of control. This allows us to be more open in the way we receive them, so we don’t miss them. Trust the process. Be able to trust, and release, and detach from your manifestations. You have to remind yourself that what you want, wants you. What you want is meant for you. What you want, you want for a reason. It’s not random, and your soul knows this.
5. Be open to receiving that manifestation. You need to get comfortable receiving good things in your life. Feminine energy is the receiving energy.
In order to receive, we have to be able to surrender. We also have to know that, we are worthy of that receiving.
You truly have to feel comfortable. Feel natural in that receiving. To get what you want, you have to be able to receive it. You have to be able to allow it into your life. You have to let those walls down.
To wrap this all up, for you to be able to manifest to the fullest capacity with the most ease, your feminine and masculine energies have to come together. It takes energetic alignment (feminine energy), and action (masculine energy).
But that energetic alignment piece is what creates that ease, that flow, and allows you to stay in that softer energy will still getting what you want.
Here is the problem. We live in a highly masculinised world, where the masculine is praised… feminine qualities are not as praised. intuition, creativity, love.
The feminine energy is naturally within all of us, and it will always be there. You just have to find it, and activate it.
How to activate your feminine energy?
1. Move your body. The feminine all about Movement and Flow. Dancing. You don’t have to be good. To just kind of get energy flowing throughout your body, help you be more present in your body, and more connected to your body. You can also stretch, do yoga, go for a long walk outside.
2. Spend more time in nature. Soak up all the feminine energy that Mother earth has to offer. Mother Earth creates life, and grows life.
3. Get comfortable receiving. We allow others to help and lift us too. Let it happen, embrace it, and enjoy it.
4. Focus on love and softness. Stay focused on love instead of lower vibration feelings like anger and resentment.
5. Spend less time on social media. It can create a lot of comparison, and feeling like you’re not good enough. Unfollow or mute anyone who doesn’t make you feel good because it can really affect your energy and your confidence.
6. You, and your real life. Don’t get stuck in this online world living other people’s lives.
7. Stop trying to control everything. You have to learn to trust, and surrender, and sometimes go with the flow. The Universe is working for you, but sometimes not in the way you expect. Stop trying to control, and instead inspire them with your love, and focus on living your best life.
8. Take pride in your appearance. Feeling proud and confident of yourself. You stand taller. Enjoy the process of getting ready every morning.
9. Stand strong in your values, beliefs, and boundaries. Be confident in who you are, and what you stand for. Have clear and firm boundaries with yourself, and others.
10. Not being afraid of being vulnerable. Expressing your true emotions. It’s ok to express them. Start with simple “I feel” statements.
11. Embrace your natural playfulness. Bring out a little of that inner child in you and do things you enjoy just for the fun of it.
How to Enter Your DARK FEMININE ERA and Level Up Your Life
If you want to really level up your life, your dark feminine energy is what's going to help you do that. Your dark feminine energy is so quietly powerful.
There are two sides to feminine energy, light feminine energy, and dark feminine energy.
When these two sides come together, that's how you make a conscious, evolved, high value, powerful woman.
Light feminine energy is more about softness, nurturing, kindness, grace, playfulness, feeling your emotions, being empathic, more angelic. Light feminine energy is more about romanticising your life, being in the moment, being present.
Dark feminine energy is the part of you that puts yourself first. It's the fiery part of you, it's the spicy part of you, it's confident, it's assertive, it's fearless, it's passionate, it's bold, it's mysterious, it's the side of you that communicates your limits, it's the side of you that's in touch with your desires, it's the side of you that protects you. More than anything that dark feminine side is the transformative side. If you really want to change your life, level up your life, or even reinvent yourself, harnessing your dark feminine energy is how you do it.
It's a natural part of being a woman. It's a natural part of our energy.
1. You have to be comfortable and be ok being the villain or the bad person. You have to get comfortable not pleasing everyone, possibly being disliked by people, and not needing every action you take to be approved of.
For example, you are getting major red flags from this guy. You are not really comfortable with him at all, and you know it's not a match. A woman who is embodied in her dark feminine energy is comfortable enough to be like, thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me, but this isn't gonna work out and leaving.
Once you accept that sometimes you will be seen as the villain or the bad girl even when you are not doing anything wrong, you're just putting yourself first, you will start to see your life change and up-level.
Being disapproved of doesn’t mean that you are always doing something wrong, or making the wrong decision, and a dark feminine woman knows this and she is comfortable with this. She is in the driver seat of her life. She’s on this Earth to live a life that actually lights her up, that feels good to her. A woman who is embodied in her dark feminine energy knows that at the end of the day she has the final say. She trusts her own intuition instead. It is impossible to please everyone, and she knows this and she’s comfortable with this.
She knows that she has to stand in her truth, even if it ultimately ruffles a few feathers. This is not a comfortable part of levelling up your life, standing in your own truth, saying no, having the courage to be disliked, but sometimes it’s a necessary part.
And your dark feminine energy is going to help you do that.
2. The dark feminine energy knows the power of her standards and boundaries, and she is not afraid to walk away. She simply walks away. She simply rescinds her energy. A dark feminine energy woman knows the power of her absence.
That behaviour is not appealing to her, and she walks away calmly. If you want to level up your life, then you have to be able to be ruthless with your energy and where it’s going, and who it’s going to. Not everything or everyone should have access to your energy.
She knows the power in leaning back, and rescinding her energy. She knows that there will be times in life where you will have to detach and move on. She rescinds her energy, because she respects herself too much to not do that. You have to have standards, and you have to know your worth. And if your standards are not met, then your energy does not get to go there.
That dark feminine side of you expresses her limits, that's the side of you that lays down her boundaries.
These standards are not only for your own good, but sometimes they are for your own protection. Your wants don’t get met, but your standards do. You get what you are willing to accept.
If you want to change your life, you have to change your standards.
You have to get to know your new standards, and get crystal clear on them.
What are you willing to accept in relationships?
What are you willing to accept with your job, your health, yourself, your own habits, your body?
Once you know your standards, anything that does not meet them, does not get your energy.
3. She is not afraid to be quietly assertive when she needs to be.
You can be assertive in a masculine way, or you can be assertive in a feminine way.
Masculine assertiveness feels more like pushing forward, energetically. There will be times in life where you will need that, and that is totally ok.
Feminine assertiveness feels more like leaning back. It's quieter. It's almost like rescinding your energy. It's more simple. Being quietly assertive is about being direct and clear and simple but calm. Being able to assert yourself takes practice, and it has to become a habit. Rescinding your energy is a part of being assertive.
4. She has a little bit more mystery to her, and tends to be a little bit more private in the way that she lives her life.
Telling everyone everything is usually not in your best interest. Because not everyone has your best interest in mind. Not everyone gets access to those deeper parts of you. That sort of trusted relationship, that openness, that is something that is not just given, it’s earned. There can be a lot of value in listening, more than you speak. Being observant. Not oversharing. Not bragging to everyone about everything. Being a bit more reserved, in how you approach people, and moving in silence, is a way to protect and guard your energy, until you can identify who has your best interest in mind and who does not. She is selective to where she puts her energy, and who she gives her energy to.
It's a way to protect your energy.
She simply removes herself from places that don’t match her energy, without fear of missing out.
5. The dark feminine energy knows that she has to be a little bit self-focused sometimes.
When you want to level up your life, that means you have to focus on yourself, and put yourself first, and the dark feminine energy is that more self-focused energy. We are not always in a levelling up phase in our life, but when we are, that deep self-focus is required. It’s kind of inevitable.
There is a fine line here.
The dark feminine energy is the side of you that's more self-focused in a good way. She knows that sometimes your needs do come first.
Sometimes as a woman you do need to prioritise yourself, not only for your ability to thrive, but also for your ability to protect yourself. The dark feminine teaches you, that, it’s ok to be your own priority sometimes.
It’s ok to make decisions simply because it’s in line with your best interest, even if other people don’t agree with it.
It’s very important to have both light and dark feminine energy. When you embody both of these, that is how you become the most healthy, the most balanced, the most powerful, the most magnetic version of yourself.
There are times where a little healthy self-focus is needed, where a good healthy self-prioritisation is needed, and when you are trying to level up your life, that is one of those times, and the dark feminine energy is going to help you do that.
It's important to have a healthy balance between the light feminine energy, and the dark feminine energy. When these two energies come together, that is how you start creating the life that you want, that is how you become your most evolved self.
The feminine is the receiving energy. We tend to take on other people's stuff quite easily. We might take on their energy, their negativity, whatever it is. We might take on other people's problems, other people's emotions.
The feminine is naturally very empathic and this can be such a great strength, but it can also hold us down and bring us down too, it depends on how we use it, and what we allow in. That's why it's very important to have clear and firm boundaries in your life.
Although the feminine is the receiving energy, you get to choose what you allow in.
When we take on other people's stuff, or we let other people zap our energy and our joy or we do things we don't want to do to please other people, this leaves very little left for us, and this drains our feminine essence.
So, this may be setting boundaries with certain people, setting boundaries with work hours, saying no when you need to.
Be clear to yourself and others about what you need, and minimise time spent with people who don't honour your boundaries.
2. Get out of your head, and into your body.
So many of us women are stuck in our head but we need to get out of our head, and drop into our heart and into our body.
Drop into your body. Be very intentional with this.
Movement, yoga, dancing, being in nature, meditation. These are all very helpful.
When we're too much in our head, this can really hold us back. It can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem, low energy, poor health. It can really hold us back in a lot of ways. But one of the biggest things is, it prevents us from hearing what our heart and our body have to say. Our heart and our body are very wise, and can be some of our best guides, if we just take the time to listen to what it has to say.
3. Your intuition is super powerful, and can be one of your best guides. Hear and listen to your intuition.
If you get a random feeling, or a random inner knowing, don't ignore it, this could be really powerful guidance.
It is a muscle that you build up over time.
4. Fostering a safe, non-judgemental environment and relationships.
Fostering a safe, non-judgemental environment and relationships is very important, because if you don't have this, then the feminine might not feel comfortable enough to be seen.
So, it's important to feel safe in your relationships, to feel safe enough to be vulnerable, to feel safe enough to open your heart, and not have your masculine shield up all the time, to feel safe enough to drop out of your head, and into your body.
But also to feel safe in your own body too, to feel safe within yourself.
And also to not put yourself in any unsafe or uncomfortable situations. This ties back to boundaries.
Be smart about who you hand around with, who you spend time with, where you spend your time. When you are in a safe space, both emotionally and physically, this is when your feminine can really come out, and you can take advantage of all that it has to offer.
5. Use your magnetism.
The feminine energy is the receiving energy, and it has this amazing ability to attract in what it wants and it can act like a magnet. The feminine is all about having things come to them. It’s about knowing that what’s meant for them, will come to them.
When you know that you are worthy, and you know that what's meant for you will come to you, then you will energetically start to attract in that which you want, that which is aligned with you. If that isn’t powerful, I don’t know what is.
A lot of our power as a woman comes from understanding energy and how to use it to your advantage.
6. Letting go of control. A lot of people equate power with control, but there’s also a lot of power in surrendering. The reality is that we can’t control everything. And this just drains our energy, gives us anxiety, it prevents us from living in the moment, and feeling joy, and stepping into our feminine. When we can try to let go of some of this control, this frees up our time and energy for other things. It allows us to focus more on ourselves, and our lives, and allows us to focus more on the things that we can control. This surrendering actually gives us more freedom. This allows us to make more of an impact, and truly step into our power.
7. Reevaluate your mindset, and be honest with yourself about how you feel, and what you tell yourself about the feminine energy.
Do you feel that being vulnerable and showing your emotions is weak and makes you less than? Do you feel like your intuition and creativity is not really that valuable?
Relearn the value of the feminine. Ask yourself, “What are you telling yourself about the feminine?” Is it supportive of you stepping into this power more or not. You have to see the value in the feminine, and know that you are worthy to be a powerfully feminine woman.
Step more into your feminine power. It’s already innately there. You just have to bring it out.
