Psych2Go: How To Stop People Pleasing

We all like being well-liked. But if your desire of being liked costs you your needs and well-being, maybe it's time to ask yourself why.

You are just as important as any other person, and should dedicate the same amount of care and effort towards yourself.

1. Validate Yourself.

Basing your self-worth off of someone else's opinions can harm your self-esteem.

When your worth is determined by others, you can lose control of who you are.

Take some time to reflect on yourself with interest, curiosity, and respect.

When you learn how to separate what others say about you from what you think, you can have more confidence and draw validation from yourself.

2. Say No.

Maybe you avoid it because you don't want them to feel bad.

But saying no doesn't always mean you'll face a bad outcome.

Sometimes a little bit of authenticity goes a long way.

3. Take Time For Yourself.

It's ok to tell them, 'Let me get back to you'.

Many events are not urgent.

Remind yourself that it's ok to take some time to decide.

This phrase allows you to check in with yourself, or check with your schedule to make the best choice.

4. Know Where You're Going.

Take some time out of your week to evaluate or re-evaluate your short-term and long-term goals.

Questions you could ask yourself could include:

Where do I want to be in five years?

What am I doing right now to get there?

Doing so will help you narrow down the scope of things you agree to do, and help you say no to things that might not help you move closer to your goals.

5. Remove Toxic People From Your Life.

A toxic person is someone who does not respect your values and boundaries.

They overlook or overstep their lines, whether it's by asking you for things you are uncomfortable with, or that goes against your values, or simply by expecting that you'll make an exception for them.

Stay away from someone like this.

6. Stop Apologising.

Take some time and pause before apologising.

Before you say sorry, stop and ask yourself, 'Have I actually done something wrong here?'

Taking this time to think critically can make sure that you're not undermining yourself too much.

It's a gift to want to be of service, and not an inconvenience to others. But remember you are not beholden to other people's demands.