Living Authentically - not comparing yourself to others
1. Figure out what your idea of success is. We are all completely different.
2. Spending less time online. It has made a ridiculously big difference.
3. Find a like-minded community. Be really intentional with the time you spend online.
4. Practice gratitude. Our lives look really rich. The basic is being able to breathe. There are so many things that a lot of us can be so grateful for.
Feminine energy traits are affiliated with nurturing, love, receptivity, compassion, and care.
Being energy, rather than doing energy.
You're not doing anything actively, it's just that you being is already doing something.
Peace. She is at peace, and so she brings peace to others.
Start minding your own business. Memorise this line, “That is not my task”.
Whenever you feel the need to fix a man... That is not my task.
Can you not pick up other people’s tasks?
If there's gender roles that you don't want to fulfil, then find a man who shares similar values as you.
The bare minimum task that a man needs to be able to do is to provide.
And if he can't do that, it'll be very hard for you to be in your femininity in a relationship.
Get out of this energy of trying to prove yourself, because you are enough as is. And the moment you realise that, you feel so at home in yourself. So at home in your body. So at home in your femininity. Being in your feminine, is less about doing and more about being. Because as a woman, by existing you have so much inherent worth and value. You existing is enough.
Personally, it was the most difficult part for me to accept that I am enough as is. I don’t need to do more.
I’m already enough.
Being in your femininity is less about doing, more about being.
Women are useful without doing anything.
Just by existing around men, we confer a lot of status on them.
And using that status that we have conferred on them, they can now access more opportunities. You are giving him clout simply by going on a date with him. And then you’re going to pay, can we not do that? You are already paying just by existing with a man. That’s your payment. You gave him the opportunity to access you. That’s your payment. You have so much inherent worth and value. All you have to do is exist.
And it's always the men who want to exploit you, and take advantage of you that want you to devalue yourself. They are the ones who tell you that you're not this enough, you're not that enough. You are of no worth, you are of no consequence.
But what about the value that we bring? What about the risks that you incur simply by going on a date with this guy? The safety risk?
I too can pay on a first date, but I don’t have to.
Stop proving yourself to people. Just exist. And let the people who find value in you be the ones to access you. Why are you surrounding yourself with people who you have to prove yourself to? Once you get out of this proving yourself energy, you will feel more at peace.
Femininity is not a costume. Being a feminine woman is less about how you dress, and more about how you are with yourself.
If you cannot allow yourself to fully receive, you will likely have a hard time receiving love, feeling loved, and that's something that every human being deserves to feel.
If you can comfortably receive, your relationships will improve, your stress levels will improve, and life can get a whole lot easier, and a whole lot more fun.
1. Start practicing on the little things.
You can speak up when you need help.
2. Be in a constant state of gratitude.
There is always an infinite amount of abundance and love in this world.
Believe it. You will naturally be open and receptive to the good things that come into your life.
Shifting your mindset to a state of gratitude will naturally make you a more open and receptive person.
3. Remember that not everything needs to be or is meant to be transactional.
Sometimes you can just receive.
4. It's helpful to see the good in people, and not assume that everyone always wants something in return.
Sometimes people will have motives for things. You always have your boundaries.
Let go of control.
This energy closes you off from accepting things into your life.
This energy closes you off from accepting help, which everyone needs sometimes.
It closes you off from letting the Universe work it's magic and bring miracles into your life.
Doing it all burns you out.
This will allow you to start receiving in ways that bring more joy and ease into your life.
It can also help you to receive what's meant to come into your life for your Highest good.
I knew I was making bad decisions for my business, but I was making the right ones for me.
I think it is really easy to get those things confused.
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I will take comfort in knowing that I am doing the best I can at this time, and making the best decisions I can at this time.
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I hope you are open to your own growth.
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I don't know what the future holds, but I do know I am going to meet it with gentleness towards myself, and I'm going to have Faith that I will be able to figure things out as I go.
When you are a type that values Ne highly in your cognitive stacking: What your brain naturally wants to do is learn as much as it can possibly learn through having different experiences, through exploring different philosophies, through understanding the world using many different lenses, and this is the absolute food that you need to be giving your soul in order to thrive.
If there is a single piece of advice I would give to an ENFP, it’s that, you have to put your energy at the centre of your life. Prioritise feeding your body, mind and soul. For you wellness means having new adventures, having new experiences, etc. allowing yourself to make seemingly impractical choices in so far as you are able to do so. Your energy is oriented towards that exploration of life. That is what makes you feel alive.
If you prioritise your energy above all else, in the long run, that will pay off for you infinitely more than if you are to follow a traditional path that drains you.
9:50 Extroverted Intuition is able to absorb an almost terrifying amount of information and make sense of it, and connect it to tangible external reality in a way that other people understand. And that is a superpower that probably nobody has taught you how to nurture.
Feed yourself, new ideas, new experiences, and new thoughts, on a more or less constant basis.
Make staying engaged, energised, and interested in your life as the number one priority.
10:44 Your superpower is your ability to take in a wide array of very complex information and make sense of it simply. Not many people are able to grasp complex theories as quickly and as easily as you are.
You need time to integrate everything that you have been learning.
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As an ENFP, when you are firing on all cylinders, you are producing insights, and thoughts, and perspectives that are far above what the average person can produce.
When you are leaning fully and completely into your explorative and introspective nature, you are able to produce thought work at an extremely high level.
But in order to do that you have to be willing to feed your mind, and soul first.
Prioritise your energy as the person you actually are.
If you cannot prioritise you for yourself, consider prioritising yourself for the good of the planet.
Manifestation is not just about what you’re doing, it’s about who you are being.
Who you are showing up as everyday.
How do you be in the energy to attract what you want, in energetic alignment?
1. You want to be around other people or situations where having that thing is natural. It’s just their state of being. Get yourself somehow where you can be in that energy. Your state of being is highly correlated with what feels natural to you. Being near people or with people where that energy is natural. You will pick up on that energy.
2. Do the inner work. Remember that your world is a mirror.
Your thoughts and beliefs are the biggest thing holding you back, or the biggest thing propelling you forward. Shifting this can take some time. Some tools for changing your state of being include things like: Visualisation, journaling, scripting, affirmations, gratitude. Do it everyday. Just keep going. It’s a journey. Feminine energy is the being energy. Master the being energy, and you will start attracting things into your life, and the action that you do take will be amplified by a hundred.
3. Get in touch with your feelings.
Bring those feelings, those emotions up.
The way feel around your manifestations matters.
You have to use that feeling side to your advantage.
Connecting to your Feeling side. The Heart energy. I visualize how those manifestations would make me feel. I like to feel that feeling deep in my bones. Like what would my energy be like? Feel what it’s like to have it. How would it fell in ur body, mind, heart, and soul. Your feelings massively shift your energy. They are powerful. Manifesting using your feminine energy is all about attracting in what you want by being an energetic match, by being in the right energy.
4. Detachment.
Embrace detachment.
Feminine energy is the surrender energy. It's the energy of releasing control and letting go.
We have to do this with our manifestations too.
We have to give things space to come to us and to come into our lives, and release that resistance.
These is an element of trust and release that you have to embody.
Let go of the fear and worry around it. Feminine energy is the playful energy.
Try to be as light-hearted, n playful, n trusting as you can. Surrender. Release. Let go of control. This allows us to be more open in the way we receive them, so we don’t miss them. Trust the process. Be able to trust, and release, and detach from your manifestations. You have to remind yourself that what you want, wants you. What you want is meant for you. What you want, you want for a reason. It’s not random, and your soul knows this.
5. Be open to receiving that manifestation. You need to get comfortable receiving good things in your life. Feminine energy is the receiving energy.
In order to receive, we have to be able to surrender. We also have to know that, we are worthy of that receiving.
You truly have to feel comfortable. Feel natural in that receiving. To get what you want, you have to be able to receive it. You have to be able to allow it into your life. You have to let those walls down.
To wrap this all up, for you to be able to manifest to the fullest capacity with the most ease, your feminine and masculine energies have to come together. It takes energetic alignment (feminine energy), and action (masculine energy).
But that energetic alignment piece is what creates that ease, that flow, and allows you to stay in that softer energy will still getting what you want.
Here is the problem. We live in a highly masculinised world, where the masculine is praised… feminine qualities are not as praised. intuition, creativity, love.
The feminine energy is naturally within all of us, and it will always be there. You just have to find it, and activate it.
How to activate your feminine energy?
1. Move your body. The feminine all about Movement and Flow. Dancing. You don’t have to be good. To just kind of get energy flowing throughout your body, help you be more present in your body, and more connected to your body. You can also stretch, do yoga, go for a long walk outside.
2. Spend more time in nature. Soak up all the feminine energy that Mother earth has to offer. Mother Earth creates life, and grows life.
3. Get comfortable receiving. We allow others to help and lift us too. Let it happen, embrace it, and enjoy it.
4. Focus on love and softness. Stay focused on love instead of lower vibration feelings like anger and resentment.
5. Spend less time on social media. It can create a lot of comparison, and feeling like you’re not good enough. Unfollow or mute anyone who doesn’t make you feel good because it can really affect your energy and your confidence.
6. You, and your real life. Don’t get stuck in this online world living other people’s lives.
7. Stop trying to control everything. You have to learn to trust, and surrender, and sometimes go with the flow. The Universe is working for you, but sometimes not in the way you expect. Stop trying to control, and instead inspire them with your love, and focus on living your best life.
8. Take pride in your appearance. Feeling proud and confident of yourself. You stand taller. Enjoy the process of getting ready every morning.
9. Stand strong in your values, beliefs, and boundaries. Be confident in who you are, and what you stand for. Have clear and firm boundaries with yourself, and others.
10. Not being afraid of being vulnerable. Expressing your true emotions. It’s ok to express them. Start with simple “I feel” statements.
11. Embrace your natural playfulness. Bring out a little of that inner child in you and do things you enjoy just for the fun of it.
How to Enter Your DARK FEMININE ERA and Level Up Your Life
If you want to really level up your life, your dark feminine energy is what's going to help you do that. Your dark feminine energy is so quietly powerful.
There are two sides to feminine energy, light feminine energy, and dark feminine energy.
When these two sides come together, that's how you make a conscious, evolved, high value, powerful woman.
Light feminine energy is more about softness, nurturing, kindness, grace, playfulness, feeling your emotions, being empathic, more angelic. Light feminine energy is more about romanticising your life, being in the moment, being present.
Dark feminine energy is the part of you that puts yourself first. It's the fiery part of you, it's the spicy part of you, it's confident, it's assertive, it's fearless, it's passionate, it's bold, it's mysterious, it's the side of you that communicates your limits, it's the side of you that's in touch with your desires, it's the side of you that protects you. More than anything that dark feminine side is the transformative side. If you really want to change your life, level up your life, or even reinvent yourself, harnessing your dark feminine energy is how you do it.
It's a natural part of being a woman. It's a natural part of our energy.
1. You have to be comfortable and be ok being disliked, being the villain or the bad person. You have to get comfortable not pleasing everyone, possibly being disliked by people, and not needing every action you take to be approved of.
For example, you are getting major red flags from this guy. You are not really comfortable with him at all, and you know it's not a match. A woman who is embodied in her dark feminine energy is comfortable enough to be like, thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me, but this isn't gonna work out and leaving.
Once you accept that sometimes you will be seen as the villain or the bad girl even when you are not doing anything wrong, you're just putting yourself first, you will start to see your life change and up-level.
Being disapproved of doesn’t mean that you are always doing something wrong, or making the wrong decision, and a dark feminine woman knows this and she is comfortable with this. She is in the driver seat of her life. She’s on this Earth to live a life that actually lights her up, that feels good to her. A woman who is embodied in her dark feminine energy knows that at the end of the day she has the final say. She trusts her own intuition instead. It is impossible to please everyone, and she knows this and she’s comfortable with this.
She knows that she has to stand in her truth, even if it ultimately ruffles a few feathers. This is not a comfortable part of levelling up your life, standing in your own truth, saying no, having the courage to be disliked, but sometimes it’s a necessary part.
And your dark feminine energy is going to help you do that.
2. The dark feminine energy knows the power of her standards and boundaries, and she is not afraid to walk away. She simply walks away. She simply rescinds her energy. A dark feminine energy woman knows the power of her absence.
That behaviour is not appealing to her, and she walks away calmly. If you want to level up your life, then you have to be able to be ruthless with your energy and where it’s going, and who it’s going to. Not everything or everyone should have access to your energy.
She knows the power in leaning back, and rescinding her energy. She knows that there will be times in life where you will have to detach and move on. She rescinds her energy, because she respects herself too much to not do that. You have to have standards, and you have to know your worth. And if your standards are not met, then your energy does not get to go there.
That dark feminine side of you expresses her limits, that's the side of you that lays down her boundaries.
These standards are not only for your own good, but sometimes they are for your own protection. Your wants don’t get met, but your standards do. You get what you are willing to accept.
If you want to change your life, you have to change your standards.
You have to get to know your new standards, and get crystal clear on them.
What are you willing to accept in relationships?
What are you willing to accept with your job, your health, yourself, your own habits, your body?
Once you know your standards, anything that does not meet them, does not get your energy.
3. She is not afraid to be quietly assertive when she needs to be.
You can be assertive in a masculine way, or you can be assertive in a feminine way.
Masculine assertiveness feels more like pushing forward, energetically. There will be times in life where you will need that, and that is totally ok.
Feminine assertiveness feels more like leaning back. It's quieter. It's almost like rescinding your energy. It's more simple. Being quietly assertive is about being direct and clear and simple but calm. Being able to assert yourself takes practice, and it has to become a habit. Rescinding your energy is a part of being assertive.
4. She has a little bit more mystery to her, and tends to be a little bit more private in the way that she lives her life.
Telling everyone everything is usually not in your best interest. Because not everyone has your best interest in mind. Not everyone gets access to those deeper parts of you. That sort of trusted relationship, that openness, that is something that is not just given, it’s earned. There can be a lot of value in listening, more than you speak. Being observant. Not oversharing. Not bragging to everyone about everything. Being a bit more reserved, in how you approach people, and moving in silence, is a way to protect and guard your energy, until you can identify who has your best interest in mind and who does not. She is selective to where she puts her energy, and who she gives her energy to.
It's a way to protect your energy.
She simply removes herself from places that don’t match her energy, without fear of missing out.
5. The dark feminine energy knows that she has to be a little bit self-focused sometimes.
When you want to truly level up your life, that means you have to focus on yourself, and put yourself first, and the dark feminine energy is that more self-focused energy. We are not always in a levelling up phase in our life, but when we are, that deep self-focus is required. It’s kind of inevitable.
There is a fine line here.
The dark feminine energy is the side of you that's more self-focused in a good way. She knows that sometimes your needs do come first.
Sometimes as a woman you do need to prioritise yourself, not only for your ability to thrive, but also for your ability to protect yourself. The dark feminine teaches you, that, it’s ok to be your own priority sometimes.
It’s ok to make decisions simply because it’s in line with your best interest, even if other people don’t agree with it.
It’s very important to have both light and dark feminine energy. When you embody both of these, that is how you become the most healthy, the most balanced, the most powerful, the most magnetic version of yourself.
There are times where a little healthy self-focus is needed, where a good healthy self-prioritisation is needed, and when you are trying to level up your life, that is one of those times, and the dark feminine energy is going to help you do that.
It's important to have a healthy balance between the light feminine energy, and the dark feminine energy. When these two energies come together, that is how you start creating the life that you want, that is how you become your most evolved self.
The feminine is the receiving energy. We tend to take on other people's stuff quite easily. We might take on their energy, their negativity, whatever it is. We might take on other people's problems, other people's emotions.
The feminine is naturally very empathic and this can be such a great strength, but it can also hold us down and bring us down too, it depends on how we use it, and what we allow in. That's why it's very important to have clear and firm boundaries in your life.
Although the feminine is the receiving energy, you get to choose what you allow in.
When we take on other people's stuff, or we let other people zap our energy and our joy or we do things we don't want to do to please other people, this leaves very little left for us, and this drains our feminine essence.
So, this may be setting boundaries with certain people, setting boundaries with work hours, saying no when you need to.
Be clear to yourself and others about what you need, and minimise time spent with people who don't honour your boundaries.
2. Get out of your head, and into your body.
So many of us women are stuck in our head but we need to get out of our head, and drop into our heart and into our body.
Drop into your body. Be very intentional with this.
Movement, yoga, dancing, being in nature, meditation. These are all very helpful.
When we're too much in our head, this can really hold us back. It can lead to anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem, low energy, poor health. It can really hold us back in a lot of ways. But one of the biggest things is, it prevents us from hearing what our heart and our body have to say. Our heart and our body are very wise, and can be some of our best guides, if we just take the time to listen to what it has to say.
3. Your intuition is super powerful, and can be one of your best guides. Hear and listen to your intuition.
If you get a random feeling, or a random inner knowing, don't ignore it, this could be really powerful guidance.
It is a muscle that you build up over time.
4. Fostering a safe, non-judgemental environment and relationships.
Fostering a safe, non-judgemental environment and relationships is very important, because if you don't have this, then the feminine might not feel comfortable enough to be seen.
So, it's important to feel safe in your relationships, to feel safe enough to be vulnerable, to feel safe enough to open your heart, and not have your masculine shield up all the time, to feel safe enough to drop out of your head, and into your body.
But also to feel safe in your own body too, to feel safe within yourself.
And also to not put yourself in any unsafe or uncomfortable situations. This ties back to boundaries.
Be smart about who you hang around with, who you spend time with, where you spend your time. When you are in a safe space, both emotionally and physically, this is when your feminine can really come out, and you can take advantage of all that it has to offer.
5. Use your magnetism.
The feminine energy is the receiving energy, and it has this amazing ability to attract in what it wants and it can act like a magnet. The feminine is all about having things come to them. It’s about knowing that what’s meant for them, will come to them.
When you know that you are worthy, and you know that what's meant for you will come to you, then you will energetically start to attract in that which you want, that which is aligned with you. If that isn’t powerful, I don’t know what is.
A lot of our power as a woman comes from understanding energy and how to use it to your advantage.
6. Letting go of control. A lot of people equate power with control, but there’s also a lot of power in surrendering. The reality is that we can’t control everything. And this just drains our energy, gives us anxiety, it prevents us from living in the moment, and feeling joy, and stepping into our feminine. When we can try to let go of some of this control, this frees up our time and energy for other things. It allows us to focus more on ourselves, and our lives, and allows us to focus more on the things that we can control. This surrendering actually gives us more freedom. This allows us to make more of an impact, and truly step into our power.
7. Reevaluate your mindset, and be honest with yourself about how you feel, and what you tell yourself about the feminine energy.
Do you feel that being vulnerable and showing your emotions is weak and makes you less than? Do you feel like your intuition and creativity is not really that valuable?
Relearn the value of the feminine. Ask yourself, “What are you telling yourself about the feminine?” Is it supportive of you stepping into this power more or not. You have to see the value in the feminine, and know that you are worthy to be a powerfully feminine woman.
Step more into your feminine power. It’s already innately there. You just have to bring it out.
Are you ready to create a new you, step into your dream life.
Your identity creates your reality
If we are talking about how to reinvent ourselves, then that means we also have to talk about how to shift our identity.
You can't reinvent yourself, without also shifting your identity.
Once you understand the importance of your identity or your self-concept, that is when things will start to click.
You will never go farther than the limits of the person you see yourself as. You will never go farther than the limits of your own identity.
Your identity determines what's possible for you, but it also determines your limits and where you'll be held back.
Your identity shapes your reality.
You have to change who you see yourself as first, and then your reality will start to reflect that.
There are two ways to change your life:
1. You force yourself to start new habits, and stick to them.
Over time, eventually, your identity will start to shift to match those new habits. And over time, eventually, you will become that new person.
2. You first start by shifting your identity.
And when you shift your identity, your habits will naturally start to align with that identity.
And then your behaviours, your actions, your habits, further reinforce, and solidify your identity.
Behaviour will always fall in line with identity.
Shifting your identity is how you most quickly, most easily, most effortlessly change your life, and reinvent yourself.
It all starts with an identity shift.
How to shift your identity, and actually reinvent yourself?
1. You have to decide who that new version of you is.
You have to get crystal clear on her identity.
Who is she?
What does she believe about herself?
How does she feel in her body?
What does she assume to be true about herself and the world that she lives in?
Who is she at her core?
Who does she see herself as?
You cannot reinvent yourself, if you don't know where you are trying to go.
Get incredibly clear on who this person is.
Know everything about her, and then deciding that that's who you're going to become.
2. There is no rebirth without death.
There has to be a letting go of everything that does not align with your dream self.
You have to let go of who you've always been to become someone new.
There is no other way.
Your past is no longer relevant.
It has to be released.
It's no longer a part of your story.
Allow your old self to die.
To reinvent yourself, you can't just become aware of who you want to be, you also have to become aware of what that means that you're gonna have to let go of, what parts of you you're gonna have to let die.
There is no rebirth without death.
3. Actually become that person, and shift your identity : Embody.
You internalise that person.
Embodying moves from the inside out.
You harness the energy of that person.
Behaviour is a reflection of your identity.
People will 99.9% of the time act in line with their identity.
If you shape your identity, you shape your behaviour.
If you want certain behaviour, you have to reinforce the identity that creates it.
If you want to reinvent yourself, you have to see yourself as that person.
Because you are embodying.
Because you are internalizing that person.
Let yourself climb the ladder.
Let yourself use the steps if you need them.
Don't waste these opportunities.
Use change as leverage.
Life changes can be a huge catalyst for personal growth.
This is already a period of starting fresh.
So you can utilize it.
The bus is already moving direction.
4. It does require absolute consistency.
It has to become who you are.
This takes very conscious intentional effort, at least at first.
You have to embody it, feel it, see it in your mind, consciously, and consistently until that evidence is created.
That's when it moves from having to be a daily conscious aware thing that you are working on, to just a subconscious natural part of who you are.
You have to prove to yourself that you are who you say you are.
