Passive-Aggressive = Hostile Cooperation
Why is this so harmful for our relationships?
Because it is dishonest. Its a lie basically. If you're not willing to share what's going on in your emotional life with people you love, then that limits your intimacy.
3:18
What to say instead?
1. "I'm fine."
Sister: "I'm having a really hard day, honestly."
Neighbour: "I'm hanging in there. There's a lot going on. I'm hanging in there."
2. "You're right."
Spouse: "We're not really getting anywhere. I'm not feeling heard. So let's come back to this."
Spouse: "I'm afraid if we keep going, its gonna make the situation worse. Let's call a time-out and come back to this when we cool down."
3. "Whatever."
Neighbour: "I'm disappointed. (and then ask for what you want) Is there room for one more? I would like to be a part of it."
4. "Nothing"
(close) Friend: "We just got back from Disneyland."
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