Its a really important emotion. It is a sign.
1. Signals something is wrong.
Anger is just a signal that something is wrong or something needs to be attended to.
Its just information.
Its not a moral issue.
2. Motivates us to make a change.
It helps us set boundaries and take a stand for ourselves or the people that we love.
It is a huge distinction between feeling anger and expressing anger.
Angry feeling is an internal state, internal cues, angry behaviour is aggression, and those are separate things.
Having the feeling is not bad.
Only 10% of the time, aggression follows anger.
3. Empowers when expressed directly.
Express it directly.
I am 'angry' with you.
If you don't address it directly, you are gonna address it indirectly.
4. Improves Relationships.
I am 'angry' about this.
Angry doesn't equal bad.
You mean enough to me that I am gonna share with you this thing that's going on inside of me.
5. Uncovers Emotional Needs.
Anger is generally a secondary emotion.
Primary emotion is what you feel first (sadness, fear, loneliness, hurt, disappointment). Secondary is what you feel most.
Its so important to be able to say what's really underneath that because underneath the anger is usually a soft, vulnerable emotion that's really important information.
There's something underneath that that's driving it.
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