1. Identify your behaviors and habits.
Take a moment. Listen to the ways you speak to yourself, the way you feed yourself, your hygiene and sleep habits. Which of your habits and behaviors would you not allow your (inner) child to do?
2. Identify the repercussions of the behavior.
Get clear on how the actions you’re taking and the thoughts you’re thinking are in direct conflict with your happiness.
3. Understand why you developed these habits.
I reached for the chocolate for a jolt of pleasure, a way to escape the reality.
Identifying where you get pleasure in engaging in self-sabotage can be immensely helpful in overcoming it.
This was an unconscious way of parenting yourself, and now that you recognize it, you can begin to consciously parent yourself in a way that supports the person you want to be now.
4. Create “house rules.”
If you have a particularly hard habit to break that you know is detrimental to your well-being, consider making it a “house rule.” When something is non-negotiable it removes the inner dialogue where we bargain with ourselves and makes it a lot easier to stick with it.
5. Hone your self-parenting skills.
In addition to making them non-negotiable and adding a “because,” be sure to reward yourself when you’ve resisted temptation and followed your own rules.
Be infinitely patient with yourself, as you would be with a child. If you slip up once, instead of throwing everything out the window, have a conversation with yourself.
Take a moment. Listen to the ways you speak to yourself, the way you feed yourself, your hygiene and sleep habits. Which of your habits and behaviors would you not allow your (inner) child to do?
Identifying where you get pleasure in engaging in self-sabotage can be immensely helpful in overcoming it.
This was an unconscious way of parenting yourself, and now that you recognize it, you can begin to consciously parent yourself in a way that supports the person you want to be now.
4. Create “house rules.”
If you have a particularly hard habit to break that you know is detrimental to your well-being, consider making it a “house rule.” When something is non-negotiable it removes the inner dialogue where we bargain with ourselves and makes it a lot easier to stick with it.
So look back at what you identified as the repercussions of your behavior to inform why the rule is in place and the desires you want to move toward.
For example, one of my “house rules” became not eating candy before lunch. Whenever a chocolate craving hit, I told myself “You don’t eat chocolate before lunch because it will make you feel icky and makes you feel bad about your body. Have chamomile tea instead.”In addition to making them non-negotiable and adding a “because,” be sure to reward yourself when you’ve resisted temptation and followed your own rules.
Be infinitely patient with yourself, as you would be with a child. If you slip up once, instead of throwing everything out the window, have a conversation with yourself.
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