12 Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries : Counselor Carl

Deep Work : Cal Newport

My lessons:

1. Work deeply.
The Rhythmic philosophy of deep work scheduling.
People play differently when they are keeping score.
I recommend the habit of a weekly review in which you make a plan for the workweek ahead.

2. Getting the most out of your deep work habit requires training, and this training must address two goals: improving your ability to concentrate intensely and overcoming your desire for distraction.
Scheduling internet use at home as well as at work can improve your concentration training.

3. Put more thought into your leisure time.

4. A deep work habit requires you to treat your time with respect.
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Deep Work

(Updated: Oct '19)

The Four Agreements : Don Miguel Ruiz

1. Don't take anything personally.
Nothing people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don't take it personally.

(Updated: Oct '19)

The Secret : Rhonda Byrne

1. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.

(chapter-3)

2. A thought has a frequency.

Your life is a mirror of the dominant thoughts you think.

One way to master your mind is to learn to quiet your mind. Meditation quiets your mind, helps you control your thoughts, and revitalizes your body.

(chapter-1)

3. You want to become aware of how you're feeling, and get in tune with how you're feeling, because it is the fastest way for you to know what you're thinking.

Your thoughts determine you frequency, and your feelings tell you immediately what frequency you are on.

Your feelings are your frequency feedback mechanism.

One way is to close your eyes, focus on your feelings inside, and smile for one minute.

Different things will shift you at different times, so if one doesn't work, go to another. It only takes a minute or two of changing focus to shift yourself and shift your frequency.

(chapter-2)

(Updated: Dec '19)

Tough time never last, but tough people do : Robert Schuller

My three lessons:

1. Leadership.
Don't surrender leadership to outside forces.

Don't surrender leadership to fears.

2. Brownouts do not have to be burnouts.
Those who wait on God shall renew their strength.

Wait on God. Remain in touch with God through prayer.

3. Yield your life and your problems to God.
Once you've given God control of your life, it won't be free from difficulty. God has not promised that our skies will always be blue, but He has promised to see us through.
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Every problem holds positive possibilities.
Every problem contains secret ingredients of some creative potential either for yourself or someone else.

(Updated: Oct '19)

Better Than Before : Gretchen Rubin

My three lessons:

1. Safeguards

"What I do most days matters more than what I do once in a while." That kind of self-encouragement is a greater safeguard than self-blame.

Try thinking of each day as a set of four quarters: morning, midday, afternoon, evening. If you blow one quarter, you get back on track for the next quarter. Fail small, not big.

2. Convenience
We should pay close attention to the convenience of any activity we want to make into a habit.
Identifying exactly why something feels inconvenient helps to reveal possible solutions. Identify the problem.
Make it easy to do right, hard to go wrong.

3. First Steps

If I dread starting a task, just making a plan for beginning -- jotting down a to-do list, finding the right link, locating the instructions -- helps me start. This first step almost feels like cheating, because I'm not actually doing the task I'm avoiding. But taking this first step makes taking the second and third steps much easier, because I've already started.
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Clarity

When we push ourselves to get clarity, when we identify the problem, sometimes we spot new solutions.

It's easier to stick to a habit when we see, with clarity, the connection between the habit and the value it serves.

Treats

Because forming good habits can be draining, treats can play an important role.

If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn't selfish.

Foundation

Self-command breeds self-command, and change fosters change. The reverse is true too: undesirable habits often cluster together and reinforce each other.

Monitoring

Self-measurement bring self-awareness, and self-awareness strengthens our self-control.

(Updated: Oct '19)

The Alchemist : Paulo Coelho

My three lessons:

1. When you really want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

2. We need to be aware of our personal calling. What is personal calling? It is God's blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend.

3. If you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here.
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We must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favour, even though we may not understand how.

To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation.

The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.

(Updated: Oct '19)