Happiness is a choice.
Be good to yourself.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
So, please, allow yourself to be happy. Smile in the sunshine, kick the ball around with your son, have a glass of wine with your spouse in the afternoon, move to Argentina, buy yourself a Kindle for the love of reading; whatever it is, be good to yourself.